The Daily Astonisher

Established in 1999January 28, 2002Tulevision.net · Viewer Supported

LATE BREAKING ART WORLD NEWS

NEW TULEVISION GALLERY OPENING SETS POST-CONTEMPORARY ART SCENE ABUZZ

By The Daily Astonisher Staff Art Critic

The mysterious sound of gnashing teeth emanating from the East Coast has finally been traced to New York Art Scene denizens, staring into their laptops in awe of the Eric Kennedy post-surrealistic, après-impressionist show at the Tulevision Post-Contemporary Art Gallery deux.

"We knew it wouldn't be long before Tulevision scooped the self-proclaimed 'Center of the Art World'," smirked a spokesperson for the struggling, yet burgeoning, website.

"Eric Kennedy is destined to become one of the most celebrated artists of this century and we, at Tulevision, are proud to bring his work to our viewers," gushed The Tulevision Editor at the Gallery's gala grand opening.

The reaction in Paris? Tu parles! Allons voir!

Link to Post-Contemporary Gallery II

"Squid"
by Eric Kennedy

MOUSEGRRRLL INTERRUPTED?

By a Daily Astonisher Staff Reporter

TULEBURG, CA - Daphne Mouse of the singing group, The MouseGrrrlls, was admitted to The Sunny Acres Rest and Recovery Residence yesterday.

Amid speculation as to the cause of the incarceration, certain internet insiders are pointing to Daphne's Diary, a particularly uninspired online account of what one Tulevision viewer described as "incessantly insipid angst."

"The diary is proof that the over-examined life is rarely worth reading about," observed the Editor of Tulevision.

"She has a bad personality," offered Dexter Shark, a Tulevision advice columnist. "It takes a lot of personality to shine on the internet."

Daphne's sister and fellow MouseGrrrll, Daisy Mouse, had no comment. Daphne and Daisy Mouse (according to the diary) have been recently estranged.

A Tulevision spokesperson acknowledged that it might be weeks before Daphne Mouse will be fit for publication.

FLOUNDERING WEBSITE BEGS FOR FUNDS

By a Daily Astonisher Staff Reporter

In a pathetic attempt to generate operating capital, the Tulevision website squandered it's last moment of inspiration writing The Story of Uhhhg.

MYSTERY MOUSE PERSON CHOSEN TO TEST NEW ANTIDEPRESSANT

From Internet Wire Services...

A great deal of secrecy surrounds an unidentified, highly-stressed mouse person, who has volunteered to participate in the study of an untested new antidepressant.

The experimental drug is being touted as the last hope for people who suffer from Electronically Generated Anxiety Disorder (EGAD).

Dr. Horton Headley, a researcher for the I.M. Finenow Drug Company, refused to comment other than to say, "We're anticipating no more black days for a white mouse."

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