The Daily Astonisher, April 4, 2001

DEXTER SHARK RESPONSIBLE FOR UNSEEMLY FRACAS IN STAFF LOUNGE

By a Daily Astonisher Staff Reporter

One of Tulevision's minor acts (advice columnist Dexter Shark) reportedly went ballistic Monday night in the Tulevision Staff Lounge. during a televised appearance by the website's frequent contributor, Web Boy.

As the entire cast and crew of the burgeoning website gathered in front of the staff lounge television set during the televised appearance of the former contributor to Tulevision, Dexter Shark screamed, "I'm far better looking and more talented than he'll ever be!"

The MouseGrrrlls exhibiting their usual graceful demeanor, protected their gowns from the food fight that followed.

Although no one at the Tulevision website would comment on the record to this reporter, fists were raised and shaken at the mere mention of Dexter Shark.

. As a result of Mr. Shark's unseemly behavior, Alger Tule, the founder of Tulevision, demanded that new rules of behavior be drawn up and posted in the Tulevision Staff Lounge.

SANDY SNAIL'S SCREEN TEST SCHEDULED FOR RUN IN FILM STUDIO

By a TuleVision Staff Reporter

Tulevision's long-anticipated ecologically sensitive short form documentary, The Sad Life of the Endangered Snail, is finally slated for pre-production in the Tulevision Film Studio.

At the end of a year-long talent search and 1,001 auditions, Tulevision announced its latest acting discovery, Sandy Snail (pictured, above right). Sandy reportedly walked slithered away with the lead role after a 20 minute screen test.

"Sandy Snail's screen test was so moving, we are putting 30 seconds of it online in the Tulevision Film Studio," gushed an anonymous Tulevision spokesperson.

According to the Tulevision Film Crew, the gender of a snail is virtually impossible for a human being to determine. When questioned directly, Sandy Snail remained mute on the subject.

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