"It's true," confirmed the Tulevision Editor. "The late Sandy Snail was, indeed, a hermaphrodite. But we shouldn't be so fast to judge him/her, because, apparently, all snails normally have both the male and female organs necessary for the regeneration of their species."

Sandy Snail was the single parent of 36. He/She was cruelly struck down last week by a gas guzzling SUV at a Beverly Hills intersection - effectively ending what might have been a promising career in documentary films.

A Tulevision spokesperson who requested anonymity admitted that this information came to light after a website employee illicitly read a personal journal found in the late actor's dressing room in the Tulevision Film Studio.

Funeral services are planned for November 2001 to accommodate Sandy's friends and family who must travel across town.

In lieu of flowers it has been requested that donations be sent to the National Anthropomorphic Society through the Tulevision website.