HOLIDAY AFFAIR LEADS TO FOOD FIGHT IN WEBSITE STAFF LOUNGE
By a Daily Astonisher Staff Reporter

The Tulevision website, noted for occasionally boisterous displays of employee dissatisfaction -- rumors abound that the website denizens have not been paid for two years -- was the scene of an ugly food fight at a recent tree decorating gathering.

There were no reports of injuries.

In a statement released to the international press yesterday, Alger Tule, the Tulevision founder, explained that as a result of the "incident" hard rolls have been banned from the Staff Lounge. In the written statement Mr. Tule also expressed his gratitude for the cooperation of the media in not publishing reports of what he called "website misbehavior."

This is not to say we, at Tulevision, wouldn't appreciate "a little 'ink' now and then -- just to let folks know we're here."

When reached for comment, an unnamed media source explained that the website is generally considered to full of "publicity-seeking nut cakes."