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THE GREATEST OF EASE
On Outer Space
Dear
Mr. Ease:
I
live in Lake County in a remote area of N. California. I've noticed strange
gatherings of odd UFO looking vehicles in small communities called trailer
parks. The inhabitants disguise themselves in tight-fitting sweat clothes
with professional football logos. They drive large gas-guzzling 1970's
luxury cars filled with yapping chi-wa-wa dogs. Is this an invasion from
another planet?
These
beings you describe bear no resemblance to the beings from other planets
with whom I am familiar.
They
do, however, sound similar to some of the earthlings I have observed and I
can attest to the fact that they are harmless creatures.
You
must immediately use your extreme sensitivity and powers of observation in a
creative way! Do you draw? Cartoons, perhaps?
Mr.
Ease:
Do
you know Martin from aliensarehere.com?
(Name of questioner not submitted)
Dear
Name Not:
I
must respond with some information:
In order to visit the Earth, an alien must obtain security clearances, take
the Oath of the Highly Evolved and observe the Universal Rules of Conduct.
Universal Rule of Good Conduct No. 22 explicitly states:
"A more highly evolved being must not, in any way, consciously prey
upon the ignorance and superstition of less evolved beings for any
purpose."
Currently,
teen-aged aliens from the planet Viait are roaming the Earth's atmosphere in
gangs and they are responsible for many drive-by sightings.
Some are even making personal appearances.
The Viaitian teenagers are breaking both their oath of the Highly Evolved as
well as Universal Rule of Good No. 22 and they are doing it just for laughs.
Viaitians are historically known as the comics of the Universe and export
their humor (once refined) to other planetary systems.
There is universal concern that the Viaitians are unable to control their
teenagers - in which case the legal age of Viaitians for Earth visitation
may soon be raised to 21.
The Universal Rule of Good Conduct No. 22 is enforced under the jurisdiction
of the UAPCH (Universal Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Humans). This organization has been accused of laxity in dealing with
Viaitians.
It is well known that many of the members of the board of the UAPCH have
severe laughter addictions and The Universal authorities are considering
whether this disorder is in some way responsible for the plethora of bad
jokes on the planet Earth.
The Answer is:
Martin? Mr. Ease knows all!
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